Giving Up

This morning was an eye opening experience for me , one that I can safely say I wish never to repeat . When help for a health issue is asked for and you spent a year waiting for it only to find that when it arrives it has changed so much now and become 100 % clinical without a human person with empathy behind it , just paperwork and a  do it yourself attitude it has failed .

 Don't get me wrong , you need to have a certain amount of do it yourself attitude with therapy as how else would it work but when you are sinking and struggling just to verbalise your situation , then what do you do ? 

I was only beginning  it and I was on the clock , there was a deadline , I was told there was just so many sessions . Could what was wrong be sorted and filed away within the deadline ? Who knows ? Has the health board in this country gone to hell ? Most definetly . Is it failing those most in need ? Every single day . 

I always had faith in getting help when something was wrong and when you got it if you put the work and effort in it would help . For me this has not now been the case. Now I would steer as far from it as I could . I begged for help for a year and when it arrived it was disheartening and has left the situation worse .

Trust with your therapist or councillor or any health provider when seeking help with strong emotional problems where you need to open up makes you vulnerable , when things go wrong with that person , like with any relationship it can leave you raw , and very untrusting and sometimes with nowhere to turn as it is in this case. 

What do I do now ?I don't know . 

Who do I go to? I don't know.

Can the trust come back ? No.