Dear friends
It feels strange to sit here and talk to you after so long . I think most of us will no doubt have had a trying time these past few months and although lockdown is easing somewhat , day to day life is far from being back to normal . It still feels like we were all dropped into the middle of a science fiction movie... player one , let’s begin !
Ok let’s begin with a bit about me ....I have had depression most of my life with anxiety and panic attacks thrown in for the craic , I jest but they are no laughing matter . Indeed right now I am at an all time low and they are at an all time high but as most of the people who follow my blog do not know me in real life I can say with a certain degree of comfort that I feel very unsettled , very lost and afraid . To look at me from the outside I could be smiling , but there is a lot of swan like motion under the surface . I have searched for ways and means to ease what’s going on in my head ... in there right now it is all barbed wire and sharp edges , there is no place to ease into and find rest , mornings are greeted with a panic alarm where I wake in full on panic attack mode ... not the best way to start any day and the after affects linger throughout them with muscle pain and a sore chest and the fear of the next one striking . Trying to lie still after waking in this way is unbearable so I get up , no matter the time and try to function in some way to get through the worst of it when fear and adrenaline fill every cell in my body .
I am writing this today as an attempt to apologize and explain my absence and to get back some semblance of normality in my life , also to let you know that there will be a minimum of 1 post per week starting this coming week . Posts will be uploaded at the beginning of each week . It will be a mix of book and life blog posts with the first one going up this coming Sunday / Monday .
So lovelies I leave you now ... and hope to be back with you very soon ... mind yourselves xxxx
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